A mother's sadness...

I've been busy..in PAIN since last wednesday since i went to remove my left wisdom tooth..god!it hurts like SHIT!!!..it wasn't as simple as an hour's surgery,it took a good 3and half instead becos my strong tooth wouldn't budge,so says my dentist..i think it was more of the lack of experience he had..i hate myself for being a jackass,should have thought of MYRA,my mom's wondeful dental surgeon at MOUNT E,whatever the case,its no use to cry over spilt milk..i've been on soft diet for the past days,the only good news,my body has shrunk a bit..even my hubby noticed..i don't think i ever wanna go for another removal of the wisdom tooth..EVERRRRR!!!..PAY ME..I STILL WON'T!!..ON another sad note,my lil' one will have to go for a surgery to remove his swollen edinoid..if not, he just won't stop coughing and having the runs..i got to know this on mon,i actually saw it for the first time on x-ray..and its big ok..really swell..especially for a 3 year old..it took me the whole day to absorb..and i was trying to be ok bout it..until nite fell,and when he was asleep,my lil' angel..i looked at him and started crying..really I sobbed and sobbed..for so many hours..i was overwhelmed with so much pain,i just couldn't hold it back...i felt so useless..helpless as a mother..i wish i could take the pain instead..i cannot explain..the deep sadness in my heart...
so much doubts and anxiety..i kept finding a blame for all these..was it my lack of intelligence..my lack of care..why???..must my son have to go thru it..today,I'm taking him to the specialist at raffles hospital..gonna finalise his surgery date and stuff..i'm scared..i'm so worried..my tears never stop..pray for my son's recovery..i love you sayang,my firdaus..you never stop showing such wonderful love and happiness though you are unwell..instead you took care of me after my surgery,you bothered about my medcine..scolded me for doing too much housework..my love..my son..get well soon sayang...