a letter from the deepest soul of my heart,to my son Muhd Firdaus..

"...Assalamua'laikum anak Umi...Muhd Firdaus,,,i've been waiting to pen down my heartfelt thoughts and feelings to you eversince i found out that i was pregnant with your adik..at that time,i was filled with so much happiness..and a mixture of worries and insecurities settled in eventually...especially when i begin to realise,this blessed addition to our family will be a huge change in our lifestyle..yours knowingly...for the past 5 years..everything has been about you..and only you...the day i got pregnant with you...the time i gave birth to you..there was nothing else more important than you...from a young lady,i grew up slowly,learning the ropes of wonderful motherhood..something i would want to turn back the clock and do it all over again a million times...the journey i know..will be endless..lots of patience and tolerance are needed..you taught me that sleepless nites would be something unavoidable..painful engorgement moments are secondary when i realise the loving bond between you and umi...the first smiles,first sitting and crawling..first time you walked..first time you called us UMI AND ABAH..these are priceless memories that nothing in this world i would give up for...you taught me to be selfless..willing to give up my luxuries just so i could give you the best..you have abundance of warmth and love..that shines off naturally from within you,making the surrounding people take to you easily..especially our families..i see you with friends so amiable..so full of fun..and i'm so glad..praying that you would be carrying those wonderful qualities with you everywhere you go in life..my son,humility,honesty,generosity..these are the few attributes to have in you...cos it will make life much easier...these past 9 months..we have been bonding a great deal..coz i know..you would definitely feel a slight tinge of insecurity when adik comes along...but remember sayang..without having you in the first place,Umi and Abah won't be as confident as now..waiting excitedly for no.2...my heart is filled with a bit of worry..i hope and pray i'm not shortchanging you of attention and love...you have been so loving and thoughtful..filling my days with funny moments and laughter..kisses and pecks...Allah has given Umi & Abah a wonderful guiding light in you....i'm savouring these precious time with you..each and everyday..till adik comes along..and then i'll have 2...i can't wait to see you with your adik..i'm praying so much for that day to come soon...syukur to Allah for giving us the best in life..giving us YOU and insyallah ADIK in the near future...thank you my baby..for teaching us so much about love...about life...Umi have become so much a better being the day i had you...i love you my son...till the last breath i breathe..
..you'll always be number 1....